i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
