question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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