Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
