why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
