can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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