How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
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I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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