You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
