i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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