we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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