who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
