He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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