If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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