Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
