so explain again why im purple
no
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
