I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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