i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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