yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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