New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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