I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
cat food counts as protein by the way
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
