Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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