walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
