dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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