Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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