i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
