trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
