if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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