"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
