Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
