Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
