I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
