I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize