cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
