Say something about gay babies.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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