We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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