There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
