I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
