So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize