I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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