you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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