I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Fuck appropriateness.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
