Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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