when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize