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• (208): View more from Idaho

  weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake

  Fav 12 887 1714

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.

  Fav 61 29114 1717

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  oh and then you called a time out with your penis

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• (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'

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• (619): View more from California

  Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck

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• (661): View more from California

  First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.

  Fav 12 2475 933

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (310): View more from California

  Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"

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• (530): View more from California

  I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.

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