The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Randomize
