It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog