Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter

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(650): View more from California

Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.

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(602): View more from Arizona

dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(805): View more from California

there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you

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(217): View more from Illinois

I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

Marry him. Now.

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(574): View more from Indiana

I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.

(1-574): View more from Indiana

How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!

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(407): View more from Florida

Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.

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