weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.