If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
