The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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