Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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