At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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