Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize