i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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