i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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