Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
