Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
