Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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