She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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