I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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