Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
