no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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