Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
