hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
