It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
