So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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