I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
