yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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