I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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