they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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