dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
