I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
