She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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